All Around the World (Not the JB Song)
by N.M.E. Agent
Summary: Zeus, Hera and Aphrodite have a plan. A plan to get Athena and Poseidon together. They first have to kick Amphitrite out and force Athena to give up her maidenhood, but unfortunately for them, their plan isn't going to work the way they wanted it to. This is not your typical Pothena story.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all of my readers! Thank you for trying out this story, and just a note before we begin (Okay, maybe two notes): I don't like the pairing of Poseidon/Athena, but I am writing this because of a dare from PercabethAndAntiThalico... (Hi! *Waves at PeracethAndAntiThalico*) And so this won't really be their romance, this will be just a humorous take on their... Relationship... If you can call it that... And secondly: Thank you PercabethAndAntiThalico for helping me turn this into something other than a romance fic!**

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV ΩΩΩ**

It's a lovely day for a walk, I think to myself, looking out of my temple. Olympus is always beautiful, because it is the home of the gods, but today is looking especially nice. I decide to take a stroll.

I make my way towards the throne room, wanting to see if Hephaestus has fixed up my throne, but I duck behind a column when I hear voices inside.

"Aphrodite, I'm sorry, but I cannot allow this to happen. My daughter has taken an oath," A man's voice says. Zeus.

"Please, Zeusy?" Aphrodite whines, and I hear a yawn in the background.

"Really," Another voice drawls, "Can we please just get on with this private meeting? This is so boring. I don't care about how we make this happen, I just want to see that it does. So can we cut out all of the technical stuff and move on to the good part? You know, the part where they get married?" I almost fall out of my hiding spot behind the column. That was definitely Hera. And when Hera agrees with Aphrodite and Zeus, something is wrong.

"You know, I do like this plan, I guess. It might get my idiot brother out of the way, but of course, there is the problem of Amphitrite," My father says. Amphitrite, Amphitrite is the wife of... Poseidon. Which means that they're talking about Poseidon and Amphitrite. Good, nothing to do with me.

"Excuse me, was anyone paying attention to me?" Hera shouts, her voice echoing off of the walls. I wince. "Can we please just get to the marrying part? I am the goddess of marriage, you know."

"Sorry Hera," Aphrodite says, "But wouldn't it be so much better if we could get them to admit their love for each other first?" Uh oh.

"Fine," Hera growls, "Have it your way! But when this whole plan is ruined, don't blame me!" I can hear her step off of her throne and walk away from where father and Aphrodite must be talking, which means she's heading straight. Towards. Me.

**ΩΩΩ Omega Linebreak! ΩΩΩ**

"What are you doing crouched behind that column?" Hera shrieks at me, and I resist the urge to cower.

"Nice to see you too, Hera," I mutter under my breath before standing up, dusting myself off, and leveling my eyes with her's. "I was just going for a walk around Olympus, and when I heard you all talking, I decided that it would be rude to interrupt," I tell her. She doesn't look satisfied, but father saves me.

"Hera, dear," He calls, "Who is that?" Hera grabs my arm and drags me out into the center of the room. "Oh," He says when he sees me, "Athena. We were just talking about you."

What? They were talking about me? But Poseidon and Amphitrite and... Oh my gods, no! "What? Father, no! You can't make me!" I move towards him, but Hera restrains me. "I refuse!" I scream loudly. Father grimaces and leans back.

"Daughter, I understand how you feel, but Aphrodite," He looks at her in disgust; I must have missed something,"Has convinced me that this..." He stops for a second before continuing: "Marriage," He shudders at the word, "Might be a good idea."

"But, but, but," I protest, racking my brain for a good argument, but for once, the wisdom goddess isn't looking so wise. "I can't marry him! I am a maiden goddess and he is my biggest enemy!" I turn towards Aphrodite and glare. "This is all your fault!" I hiss to her before Hera drags me out of the room.

**ΩΩΩ La La La La La La Linebreak! ΩΩΩ**

"What is wrong with you people?" I shout at Hera, struggling to get away, "I cannot break my oath, and even if I did, it wouldn't be for that sea spawn!" Hera shrugs and keeps pulling me away from the throne room. "I'd rather go to Tartarus!" I teleport myself to the Parthenon in Greece, hoping Hera will think I'm still on Olympus. Unfortunately, my luck doesn't hold out, and she appears right next to me.

"Thought you could get away, didn't you?" Hera smirks at me, and I resist the urge to bite her. That would not go over well. "I have news for you, missy! You can't get away from me, because I know everything about my family. And you are my family, whether I like it or not!" Ouch.

"Um, excuse me, but it is my marriage that you were talking about, am I correct?" I see her hesitate before nodding slightly, and then I say: "So shouldn't I get a choice? I mean, I don't want to be married, and I especially don't want to be married to Sea Spawn," Hera sighs.

"It isn't my choice either, Athena, this is what Zeus wants."

"What? It's obvious that he doesn't want it either! Aphrodite must have said something to change your minds, is that it?" Hera suddenly develops an interest in her feet. "You can't make me marry Poseidon, ever! Not even if it would prevent the end of the world!"

"Well," Hera says, "We're a little selfish, now aren't we?" As a response, I spit in her face. Not the most brilliant plan, but it is worth a try. While she recoils in horror, I teleport myself back to the throne room to talk some sense into Zeus.

**ΩΩΩ Poseidon's POV ΩΩΩ**

I sigh as I watch Amphitrite swim away. She's very beautiful, even if she is stubborn. I resist the urge to call out to her and ask her to come back, since we just had a fight. Instead, I turn to Delphin and say: "Please bring her back," And he goes off without a word.

"Hello brother," I hear, and I twist my head to see Zeus looking at me through an Iris Message.

"Hello. And what brings us here this fine day?" I ask him. He glares at me and yawns at the same time, and I bite back laughter.

"Get rid of Amphitrite," He says abruptly, and I stare at him, wondering if I heard him correctly. "You heard me," He tells me, as if reading my mind, "Get rid of her. Dump her. Break up with her. Get a divorce. Whatever you want to call it. Just do something about her and then get ready for a wedding ceremony," He cuts his hand through the message, leaving me more confused than ever.

Delphin taps me on the shoulder, and I turn around again to see Amphitrite with her arms crossed. "Oh, hello Amphitrite dear."

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV ΩΩΩ**

"Hello again father," I say, startling him. He jumps and turns around.

"Oh, Athena," He exclaims for the second time today, "I have a... Present for you. From Aphrodite," Alarms go off in my head. A present from Aphrodite. But I nod, and he holds out a bag. "Please go try it on dear, I'd love to see it on you," He tells me sadly. He looks so depressed that I go into an empty room and pull out the 'present'.

**ΩΩΩ Zeus' POV ΩΩΩ**

I hear a scream coming from one of the empty rooms and teleport myself so that I'm right outside of the door. I take a deep breath and barge in.

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV ΩΩΩ**

The 'present' happens to be a grey wedding dress. I let out a shriek and drop the bag, dress and all. Then, father comes barging into the room.

"What happened? Is there a spider I need to kill for you?" He asks me. I shake my head, shivering as I back away from the dress. He looks over and sees it. "Oh," He says knowingly, and then he mutters to himself: "I told her not to go overboard with the dress! I said simple, maybe an owl design or two! At least she got the grey part right..." He picks up the dress and hurries out of the room.

**ΩΩΩ Aphrodite's POV ΩΩΩ**

When Zeus walks into my palace, I smile and stand up. "So, how did she like the dress?" I squeal excitedly. Zeus shakes his head, and I notice the wedding dress balled up in his hands. "A little too fancy?" I ask, and this time he nods. Well, I thought it was just perfect.

The dress I designed for Athena is beautiful, except for the fact that Zeus insisted I make it in grey. It has strapless Sweetheart neckline and a fitted bodice with a lace-up back, and the skirt flows out in the most beautiful fashion. Oh well, I guess I'll have to start from scratch. But on the other hand, with a few touchups, that dress will be perfect for me!

**ΩΩΩ Two Hours Later... Aphrodite's POV ΩΩΩ**

I'm finally done with the wedding dress. First, I decided to work on the old one, so that I could wear it to the wedding. With a snap of my fingers, I had a light pink dress with the same design except that the bodice had cream colored lace over it, and the skirt was shorter. Ooh, I can't wait to try it on. I think I'll do that after I give Zeus the second wedding dress. This one has a Sabrina/Bateau neckline, and the bodice is cream colored. I know it's not what Zeus wanted, but I think it's perfect. The skirt is long and has a lovely trail that reminds me of an owl. It is also cream colored, but gray lace covers that up. It's still pretty fancy, and I haven't followed Zeus' orders, but instead of incorporating owls into the dress, when Athena puts on the dress, she'll look ready to take off and fly. I add some off-the-shoulder sleeves that hang down like wings to complete the look, and then slip some silver flats into the bag and am about to teleport to the throne room when I remember the key element. It's the one thing that Zeus and I agreed on: That once she puts the dress on, she won't be able to take it off until she says I do at the wedding ceremony.

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV ΩΩΩ**

Zeus comes back three hours later with the new wedding dress and explains why I have to try it on. "I know you won't be getting married, but Aphrodite and I still want to see how beautiful the dress is on you. Will you try it on for me?" I sigh but can't argue, so I slip the dress over my head and pull on the shoes. When I look in the mirror, I almost don't recognize myself, except for my grey eyes and dark, curly hair, which is still down, like always. I look like a bride. Ugh.

Aphrodite pops in, scaring the heck out of me, to fix up my hair and add any last minute touches to the dress. As she works, she can't stop talking: "Oh my gods, Athena, you look so good! Now, I was thinking a french manicure, you know, cream colored nails to match the dress, with a bit of a flare: grey tips instead of white! What do you think?" Before I can tell her no, she snaps her fingers and my nails look flawless. "Ooh, now what to do with your hair?" Aphrodite pulls out a brush and takes my hair in her hand, because she says: 'hair has to be done by hand, honey!' When she finishes with that, she goes on to my face. "Now turn towards me, yes, just like that honey. Good. Now smile!" She says as she does my makeup.

Finally, she turns me towards the mirror again. This time, I really don't recognize myself. My hair is still down, but two little braids encircle my head like a crown, and Aphrodite actually made it curlier than I thought possible. My makeup doesn't pop, instead, I have light grey eyeshadow, which is barely noticeable, black eyeliner that brings out my eyes, and clear lip gloss that makes my lips look shiny, but not overdone. My nails are perfect with the outfit, just as Aphrodite predicted, and now I almost wish I was getting married, just not to Poseidon.

I step out of the room and walk towards the throne room, my footsteps echoing in the empty hallway, which is usually full of people. When I step into the room, father leaps up and hugs me while Hera smiles knowingly.

"You look beautiful, Athena," Father says, and I give him a small smile. "Thank you for trying it on," I nod and then turn to leave and change, hoping that the makeup will come off, but I feel his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. "Please, let me just show a few people how great you look," I sigh but place my arm gently in the crook of his elbow, and we walk away from Hera. I can feel her eyes boring into my back.

**ΩΩΩ Poseidon and Hades get Ready ΩΩΩ**

**ΩΩΩ Poseidon's POV ΩΩΩ**

"So, who's wedding are we getting ready for?" I ask Hades, who shrugs. "And why did I have to get a divorce with Amphitrite? I mean, she could have just come with me to the wedding," Hades snorts and continues to shine his shoes. "What?" I ask him.

"Nothing," He replies, "I just don't think she'd like this wedding."

"So? I could have just told her I was going to a wedding. Did I have to get rid of her?" Hades gives me a look, and I go back to straightening the collar of my tux, which is incredibly itchy. The fact that I look so amazing almost makes up for it.

**ΩΩΩ Ares' POV ΩΩΩ**

"Okay everyone, get ready!" Hera's voice echoes throughout the room, and we all sit down. Aphrodite is sitting on my left, Hephaestus next to her. We both can't help but ogle her beauty. She's wearing the prettiest dress I've seen on her. I lean over and whisper:

"When this is done, you, me, 6:00. Wear the dress, k?" She smiles and nods while Hephaestus glares. I smirk at him and give him a little wave. He doesn't wave back.

"Shh!" Hera glares directly at me, "Here they come!"

**Well, how was that? I hope you liked it... But tomorrow I start camp, so I might have trouble updating, oh and one more thing I forgot to mention in the beginning of the chapter: This whole story is dedicated to PercabethAndAntiThalico for giving me lots of great ideas and the title, which will probably come up in the next chapter! Please review, I love your feedback!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all of the people who reviewed, followed or favorited! Also, I'd just like to apologize, since I haven't updated in forever. I know, I know. I'm a terrible person. But I have so many other stories to work on, and I do have camps during the summer and family vacations and other things that prevent me from writing... So, again, I'm really sorry for the long wait!**

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV ΩΩΩ**

As we walk, I notice that father is wearing a tuxedo. "Father, why are you wearing a tuxedo?" I ask him. Father doesn't like to get dressed up.

"Um, Hera made me," He tells me. I shrug.

"So, where is everybody?" I ask, trying to make conversation while answering my questions at the same time. Father looks over at me, panicked.

"Um, well, uh," He stutters, "I guess they're all just... Busy. Yeah, that's it! They must be busy!" I roll my eyes and continue walking.

**ΩΩΩ Poseidon's POV ΩΩΩ**

When Hades and I reach Olympus, he pushes me through the door to the ceremonial room, where we have weddings and other stuff. I turn around to ask him if he's coming, but he's already gone, and I'm standing on the stage, under an alter, all by myself. What? I look around the room and notice that all of the Olympians, the minor gods and goddesses, satyrs, nymphs and muses are here, staring at me. I clear my throat. "Hi," I say brilliantly.

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV ΩΩΩ**

I notice that we're heading towards the ceremonial room, and more alarms go off in my head. I shake off any mistrust. Father said I wouldn't be getting married, so I won't be. Maybe Aphrodite wanted me to do a mini fashion show with her?

**ΩΩΩ Zeus' POV ΩΩΩ**

I feel so terrible. I can't believe I'm tricking Athena, my own, beloved daughter, into marrying my slime of a brother. I sigh and am about to push the doors open when Athena turns to me.

"Father?" She says, "Is this going to be some sort of mini fashion show Aphrodite put together?" I raise my eyebrows, but nod, thinking: Wow, great excuse! Too bad I didn't come up with it! Oh well, I can always say it was my idea later on...

I push open the doors and walk Athena down the aisle as music plays. I told Aphrodite not to do 'Here Comes the Bride'! Athena gasps but quickly shuts her mouth, and I look up to see Hestia right in front of us, pretending to be the flower girl. The sight of the eldest Olympian skipping around and throwing flowers everywhere makes me giggle inwardly, since gods don't giggle out loud. I raise my eyes even higher and see my brother standing under the alter, gawking at us. Correction: he's only gawking at Athena.

Behind us come Hades with Persephone on his arm, and Artemis and Apollo behind them. Artemis is trying not to throw up. When we make it to Poseidon, I step behind them to act as the preacher, pushing Athena into place as I move. She gulps, and I try to apologize silently. All I get back is a glare.

"We are gathered here today..." I start, looking down at the book the whole time. I only marry people once every millennia or so, and I really don't bother to memorize the speech. Luckily for me, Hephaestus created a watch for me to use when I get bored, so I press a button, and poof! My voice comes pouring out, picking up at the place I left off seamlessly. I look up to smile at Hephaestus, and then look back down at the book. I turn the page and begin to read my favorite book, silently of course. The Lost Hero, by Rick Riordan. He really did a good job of capturing my son. Ah, almost done. I decide to speak the last few words, so I turn off the device and look directly at Poseidon.

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV, during the ceremony ΩΩΩ**

I am so confused, I think as I listen to father say a speech about marriage. I thought I wasn't getting married. And worst of all, it's Poseidon standing right there! Father says something to Poseidon, and I watch Hades slip up and whisper something in his ear. Poseidon sighs.

"I guess I do," He says, and I freak out. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. This is so not happening. Please say this isn't happening. They can't make me say I do. Can they?

"Do you, Pallas Athena, take Poseidon to be your lawfully wedded husband?" I want to scream, no, no, and certainly not!, but Aphrodite slips up behind me, breathing on my neck.

"Say I do, Athena," She whispers evilly, putting so much charmspeak into her voice that I almost open my mouth and say it. "Say I do, or I'll make sure you can't take off the dress. Or the makeup. Or undo your hair. Ever. I have other tricks up my sleeve as well," She taunts. I gasp. An enchanted dress? Typical. So typical.

I open my mouth, and then I hear the door open. All of my children come pouring into the room, Annabeth at the back, holding hands with... Percy. The sea brat. Ugh. Annabeth looks worried, her hand over her mouth, and Percy, well, Percy looks just as worried. Percy, the sea brat, worried? This cannot be good. I swallow, not wanting to admit defeat to my children, when Aphrodite pulls my head back and whispers:

"And you won't be able to take off the shoes either!" That does it. The shoes are terrible. They would be the only part of the outfit that I would wear normally, except for the fact that they're five sizes too small, no matter what form I take.

"I- I, I do," I mutter. Father looks happy enough with that, and he continues to read the speech. Poseidon just looks at me in shock. And then, father says the words that I've been most dreading for my whole life. That is, until I became a maiden goddess. But that's over now.

"You may kiss the bride."

**ΩΩΩ Poseidon's POV ΩΩΩ**

I lean in, Athena backs up. I step back as she leans in. This whole kissing thing isn't really working. Aphrodite taps Zeus on the shoulder and whispers something in his ear. He sighs in exasperation.

"Aphrodite has just informed me that you may hug the bride instead," I glare at him, but follow his advice. It still doesn't work, so we shake hands instead. I run my hand through my hair, embarrassed, as I slip the ring onto her finger. She slips an identical one on mine. As she does, I notice a mop of black hair surrounded by a bunch of blonde, curly-haired kids. Percy. Oh, crap.

"I now pronounce you god and wife," Zeus says. Artemis pukes.

**ΩΩΩ Annabeth's POV ΩΩΩ**

When Zeus says that and we watch Artemis puke, I forget my horror for a moment and turn to Percy, outraged.

"How sexist is that? I mean, really, god and wife? The mortal way actually looks decent now!" I exclaim. All around me, my siblings murmur in agreement. I turn back to the stage and remember how grossed out I am at the fact that Percy and I are now step-siblings. I almost puke. Now I know how Artemis feels. I turn back to Percy one more time.

"We're step-siblings now," His eyes widen in realization.

"So, maybe we should break up?" He says. Of course, this is the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear. But, then again, he probably doesn't get what that means. So, of course, being me, I tell him.

"No, I was just thinking that it might be awkward, just a bit, but since the gods don't have DNA... Maybe we could just ignore it?" I basically plead. He shakes his head again.

"Why don't we cut it off?" He says again, "Just for a little bit, until, you know, the storm blows over?" I try puppy dog eyes, which is incredibly powerful with my grey eyes, but he still shakes his head. I groan inwardly.

"You sure?" I ask him, giving him one more chance. This time, he nods his head. I resist the urge to cry. It really is over.

**ΩΩΩ Percy's POV ΩΩΩ**

I really hate myself. Annabeth gets up, tears shining in her eyes, and storms out of the room. I get up immediately and follow her, not caring that everyone turns to stare as she slams the door. Who cares about the stupid wedding? I don't.

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV ΩΩΩ**

I am so going to kill father for making me get married to this idiot. Oh. My. Gods. Oh no. Oh no. I am married to this idiot. Oh. My. Gods.

I hear a door slam, and watch Percy open it again. He runs out, not bothering to close the door. Where is he going? My question is answered when I see a blonde haired girl running away from him. Annabeth.

"Your son is despicable!" I turn to Poseidon angrily. "He is incredibly thick-headed and I knew that they never should have started dating! This is all your fault!" I turn and walk out the way I came, down the aisle.

As I walk out of the door, I kick off both of my shoes: "And I am not Cinderella!" I yell back to him, "So don't even try it!" I follow the tracks of Poseidon's spawn, tearing off parts of my dress as I go. First, the detachable sleeves. Those are easy. Next, I pull out my hair. I wipe my makeup off with the back of my hand and then move on to my nails. With a snap of my fingers, my flawless nails are no more. Then, I tear off the dress. I was smart enough to put my clothes on underneath, and after tearing the dress to shreds and stuffing the remains into a giant potted plant, there is no sign that I ever broke my maiden promise.

I shiver just thinking about it. Hopefully, since I was tricked into getting married, the fates will be kind. There isn't much you can do to an immortal after all. Oh, wait. I take that back. There are plenty of things you can to do an immortal.

**ΩΩΩ Annabeth's POV ΩΩΩ**

I run all the way to the elevator and get in, pressing the button to go to the lobby. Of course, elevator music comes on until finally I hear a ding, and the doors open. I rush out and hail a taxi, hoping that Percy can't find me.

"Where to, miss?"

"As far as you go."

**ΩΩΩ Athena's POV ΩΩΩ**

I hate Poseidon. I hate Poseidon and his idiot spawn. I hate them. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. They will pay!

**ΩΩΩ Percy's POV ΩΩΩ**

I hop into the elevator and hope that I'm not too late. After fifteen painful minutes of listening to elevator music, the doors open and I jump out into the street. I'm just in time to watch a taxi speed off.

**ΩΩΩ Annabeth's POV ΩΩΩ**

The taxi driver speeds away from the Empire State Building, and when I turn to look out the window, I see a dark-haired figure in the distance. Percy.

**ΩΩΩ Percy's POV ΩΩΩ**

Annabeth.

**ΩΩΩ The Taxi Driver's POV ΩΩΩ**

The girl sits, staring out of the window, looking back. I can see her in the rear view mirror, and when she turns around, her cheeks are stained with tears. I step on the gas pedal, wanting to drive away from whatever is making the girl sad.

**ΩΩΩ Annabeth's POV ΩΩΩ**

I can feel the car moving faster and faster, and as we drive away, I think, Is this really worth it?

**ΩΩΩ Percy's POV ΩΩΩ**

I stop and let the car drive farther away. And then, the car brakes screech.

**ΩΩΩ Annabeth's POV ΩΩΩ**

"Stop!"

**I know, I am so mean. I haven't updated in forever, and I just ended with a cliffy. To tell the truth, I have writer's block. Anyway, please review, I need some ideas for the next chapter... Thanks in advance!**


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